I don’t talk about Barbara very often on my blog. There is no particular reason for this, I just like to keep the majority of our experiences private. I thought this evening I would share a few thoughts on why I feel lucky to have Barbara.

I want to start with a quote from 1984, one of my favorite books. This quote was recently pointed out to me by (Dan)[http://bastardface.blogspot.com] and it resonated deeply with me.

>He wondered vaguely whether in the abolished past it had been a normal experience to lie in bed like this, in the cool of a summer evening, a man and a woman with no clothes on, making love when they chose, talking of what they chose, not feeling any compulsion to get up, simply lying there and listening to peaceful sounds outside. **Surely there could never have been a time when that seemed ordinary?**

As most of you know, Barbara and I live very far apart and only get to visit once a month at most. This quote is particularly poignant because of this situation. The sad truth is that it’s been years since we’ve been able to just lay around doing nothing. We spend so little time together that when we do, it’s a big event leaving little time for this type of interaction. I look forward to the day we can spend a day or two doing absolutely nothing. In fact, strange as it sounds, I often dream of the day when I can take Barbara for granted. What I mean by that is the day when sleeping together is no longer a big deal, but the norm. What a great day that will be.

Ok, digression over.

Reasons Barbara (is/will) be the best (fiancee/wife) ever:

1. She loves me - OK, this is obvious. She loves and supports me unconditionally. I see this actualized constantly, but a particularly recent experience comes to mind. I have been struggling with what to do in my professional life recently. Do I continue my PhD, or do I take my masters and go to work? When I consult Barbara, she does not encourage me to quit and move to Dallas, she instead simply asks me, “What do you want to do?”. Draw your own conclusions, but I feel lucky that my chosen lady wants what’s best for me, despite the significant challenges that the decision to stay could present.

2. She’s no pushover - This girl is feisty at times, and I love it. Sure I give her a hard time when she gets worked up, but she has absolutely *zero* tolerance for injustice and importantly is willing to speak up and say something, even if it’s difficult to say. Simply put, Barbara doesn’t put up with shit from anyone. I remember a time when we were out to eat and the hostess was being really rude to us. I wasn’t going to say anything, but Barbara wasn’t having any of her ‘tude. I love that about her.

3. She’s gentle - Sure I just spent the last two paragraphs saying that she’s hard, but that’s not right at all. She’s very gentle and caring. She loves to take care of me and constantly is thinking about what I need. I’m trying to do the same for her, but right now I’m just not as good at it as she is. Doh!

4. She’s smart - She is Barbara Chen, M.D. or “Dr. Chen” (said in an obnoxious tone), so clearly she’s book smart. That being said she also has an impressive amount of common sense. She knows just what to do to handle any situation.

5. She’s beautiful - I don’t just mean physically beautiful, though she doesn’t have any problems in that department.

This list could go on, but I think I’ve got the point across sufficiently. I love her, she is special, and I am very lucky.